We have all seen those movies. You know the ones where two people just happen to be at the same diner at the same time and their eyes just happen to meet, as they both just happen to glance up from their coffee cups at the same time? Guess what? There is a reason they call it “the movies.” That reason is that it is the opposite of real life. That just doesn’t happen in the real world. If you are a senior citizen and single, you know that finding that amazing person is one of the hardest things there is. Thankfully, many seniors are finding a new and better way to meet people. It’s online dating for seniors. It’s available to just about everyone today. If you have an internet connection or a smartphone, you can do it.
My personal experience
I married my high school sweetheart two weeks after she graduated from high school. I was 20; she was 18. I never really dated anyone else. Six years and three kids later, Annette was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She fought a good fight but after over 30 years of fighting a very mean disease, she just wore out. She had been in a wheelchair for almost 20 years. When I decided that it was time to consider remarrying, I found that any dating experience I had was over 40 years out of date. It was terrifying.
A homely target
Because of my position in my church, my neighborhood and my community, I found that I was an attractive, if homely, target. It seemed that I was besieged by casseroles from every widow and divorcee within five miles. As I said, it was terrifying. I decided to try online dating. I signed up for two or three different online services. Here’s what I found: I was besieged again, but at least it was electronically. I could control the environment.
Without much of a plan, I started to engage with a few women who were in the right age group and who could make their subjects and verbs match in their profiles. I started to meet a few for lunch. To me, it would be the most benign way to get acquainted. I suppose you could say I went into power dating mode. The attention was almost intoxicating. After being my late wife’s primary care provider for almost 20 years, I found that people were paying attention to me. It was confusing. Overwhelming, too.
I found one lady that was easy to talk with. We spend hours on the phone. I finally asked her to lunch. She walked in and smiled at me. The rest, as they say, is history. I’ve always been a sucker for smiles. Two weeks later, I asked her to marry me. In another three weeks, we were married. A bit quick? Probably! Risky? For certain. Here’s the rest of the story, though. Next month, we will celebrate our twelfth anniversary. Were we lucky? Yes.
Seven ways an online dating service can change your life
Here’s what I learned. Computer dating services can change your life; the seven ways internet relationship services can change your life are so wonderful that if you don’t give up the bar scene and sign up, you are truly missing the boat. So, from personal experience here are seven ways an online dating service can change your life:
1. Opens the dating pool
Your first of the 7 ways online dating for seniors via your computer or smart device can change your life is that they can open the dating pool to thousands of people you would not otherwise get the chance to see or meet. I lived in a small town, and I know – or know of – just about everyone, but there was no one here for me. The need to look elsewhere was obvious. I mean, what do you do – go to the next closest town and just drive around looking? Well, online dating services can change your life by simply adding lots of people to your “network.”
2. Safe way to connect to others
The second of the seven ways computer dating services can change your life is by providing a safe way to connect to others. Let’s face it; going into the local club is probably not going to find you the one you have been seeking, and it can be dangerous, too. By following some simple rules, computer dating services can provide safety.
3. Get to know someone’s mind
Now the third way online dating for seniors can help you is by allowing you the chance to get to know someone’s mind before you get to know his/her body. Relationships built on lust don’t work. With online dating, you can take your time and communicate for as long as you want before you meet.
4. Provides a way to be selective
The fourth of the seven ways online relationship services can change your life is by providing a way to be selective. If you are not interested in anyone who doesn’t want children, just type that in. All the confirmed non-moms will be gone from the pool with a click.
5. Saves you time
A fifth way these services can change your life is to save you time. If someone is just not interested, it does not take a whole evening of struggling to make polite conversation across the dinner table to find out. With the click of the mouse, he can tell you he is not interested or she can choose not to respond to you at all (which some find rude, but others don’t).
6. Provides basic information about people
The sixth way online relationship dating services can change your life is to provide you with the basic information about people before you even meet, which makes the dating process so much easier and more fun. If you already know your date’s favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird, you already have something you can talk about – an icebreaker, if you will.
7. Helps make you very happy
Of course, all of this boils down to one thing – the seventh way online dating services for seniors can change your life – computer dating services can be the best, safest, most fun way to meet your soul mate and make you the happiest person alive. What more can you ask for than that?
How to choose the right online site
With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching user profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. You will find special interest sites for almost anything you can think of…outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So, what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.
Here are some things to consider:
- Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month on your membership (s)?
- Features. Which features are the most important to you?
- Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want, or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
- Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email?
- Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
- Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
- Safety. There are websites that do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status, and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.
Online dating services
Zoosk Seniors https://www.zoosk.com/
Christian Single Sites
If you are an individual of faith, don’t overlook faith-based dating sites. Here are just a few:
Christian Café https://www.christiancafe.com/
Catholic Match: https://www.catholicmatch.com/
LDS Singles https://www.ldssingles.com/
Baptist Dating Service https://www.baptistdatingservice.com/
Caveat Emptor – The Dangers of Dating Services Online
Surely, there are dating service consumer complaints that come to mind. Let us just say that some people tend to be picky, meticulous, and demanding. Some complaints are petty things while some are grave. It all depends on the type of features the dating services cater to and the type of individuals who are dealt with.
For someone to be able to sign up in a dating services website, personal details such as gender, age, location, physical features, and many others are required. Now because you would only be communicating through email, chat, message boards, podcasts, or telephone, there is a large chance of faking your identity. Who knows how many of the members are doing it? Thus, authenticity is lost.
The Most Common Dating Services Consumer Complaints
Online dating services are often charged with problems most especially with regards to the payment schemes. Some of these websites are frauds. They tempt you with interesting teasers in which you get enticed to sign up without realizing the motive behind. Usually, customers fail to pre-review the profiles uploaded on the website. Another known complaint handed in by costumers concerning the dating services is the very interesting and attractive profiles which thus function as the bait so that new members would sign up and be willing to pay. There are likewise those websites that use the dating services flagship as a front but then when you sign up for those, you get directed to other websites that involve scams, prostitution, and marketing strategies.
Then, of course, there is the billing complaint. This stands out as the most common consumer complaint against online dating services. Trial memberships are often interesting for dating services members. As is most common among the users of the internet, you usually end up happy with the opportunity of chancing upon some trial membership offers of a website. Some of these sites would have low-priced trials too. Chances are, you still get charged up with the payment even though your trial period has already expired. Most often, the full amount of the membership fee gets deducted from your credit card account.
Avoiding the Dangers
Online dating for seniors can be risky business. There are, however, internet dating services administrators that are committed to serving the best interest of their clients. They do monitor the activities and behavioral actions of their participants. There are people who manage and track down the common consumer complaints, set regulations, and ban the people who violate any of those.
It is important that you be very careful with your home address and other personal and account details. Taking these precautions work for the best.
There are always white lies involved in internet dating services. You must be careful as you expose yourself to these opportunists. Consumer complaints on dating services continue to escalate as time goes by. Why give in yourself as a pawn to it? Be wary. Be always alert.
Looking for first date ideas
If you’ve found someone you’d like to get to know better, you might want to consider some of the first date ideas we wrote about here.
In summary, remember these five bullet points:
- Be careful
- Trust but verify
- Have fun
- Remain true to who you are.
- Go for it!